He was called “John” because that was his actual name.
Actually, he was called something else because his dad was also named John, so his friends referred to him by his middle name, but I never did.
Anyway, his name is John & he was my first kinda serious boyfriend…
& by serious, I mean 4 months in 9th grade & we all know that shit is serious.
I spent many months after that breakup crying my eyes out while listening to my Michelle Branch cd. #thespiritroom for the win.
Anyway…
It turns out the only reason John decided to be my boyfriend in the first place was because he was trying to get over his first real girlfriend.
I honestly would tell you her name, except that it’s one of those weirdly spelled names like Rocksanne or Tiphanie or Meashell, so I’m too chicken shit to tell you because even now, I’m sure John would come punch me in the face if he knew I was talking about him & her on the internets.
They broke up shortly after they were involved in an ATV accident. Allegedly, they were riding their individual ATVs when she somehow flew off hers & practically ripped off her ear. He went to visit her in the (faraway) hospital she got sent to because her injuries were kind of that bad & she was all “Hey, I don’t think we should go out anymore. The whole almost losing an ear thing kind of ruined it for me.”
So basically, I was the rebound for him & what a rebound I was. Actually, I didn’t really find out that I was the rebound until a little later in the (short) relationship, but it totally messed with me. I’ll admit, I disliked her, only because she was put up on this pedestal by John. She was the one every other girl was compared to & I couldn’t compete with that shit. I mean, who can compete with a memory? Memories are always better than the real thing.
Anyway, John & I broke up & he went back to loving this girl & never having her because she chewed up dudes & spit them out…including his best friend.
I Myspace stalked John a couple years ago & he had a survey on his page that listed her as his most missed memory.
Of course.
I was reading the newspaper the other day & saw a little blurb that she’s getting married. It was just the little thing where it said they got a marriage license. The dude she’s marrying? Not John! But we already knew that.
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It’s totally cool, though. I’ve grown up & made it big.
I’ve found my (duck) calling:
How many 26 year olds can say they’ve found their (duck) calling?
I’ve met celebrities:
In all seriousness, I probably made it because I no longer look like this:
& that’s just a fact!
To get that disgusting image out of all of our heads, here’s a pic of me from last weekend:
Muuuch better!
Peace out!
PS: I know my hair kinda sucks. Hard water for the win?
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